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Christmas Alone: Maybe It is Time to Discover What is Christmas for You

CHRISTMAS_ALONE

I know how it could feel to celebrate Christmas alone as I needed to celebrate many family celebrations from my mother’s land. This year, we will celebrate Christmas alone: me, my husband, and my kids together and still alone.

I was not born to a culture with Christmas and had other religious and family celebrations. Experiencing Christmas for me started after being together with my now-husband, at that time my boyfriend. 

For me, Christmas is a big celebration with so many rituals.

You already know that I love rituals. Christmas is a big celebration with so many rituals. As a person with a great curiosity about the celebrations and rituals all around the world, I enjoy the celebrations of the Spanish Christmas with the big family of my husband. 

This year, we will not be able to see them, as we are living far away from them. It is sad. We are not seeing them for so long now. Me, my husband, and my kids all missed grandparents, but this is what it is. It is life. 

This article intends to bring some perspective, to tell you that we are all united in this as always, even we sometimes feel that we are separated. Finally, I would like to give you some Christmas alone ideas and tips. 

I want to spend Christmas alone – Why do I want to spend Christmas alone?

You can be in the wide spectrum of different ideas around Christmas: those who think about how to survive Christmas alone or those spending Christmas alone by choice.

Christmas alone in 2020 also means that spending Christmas alone because of covid which makes the situation quite special. 

This year we will be many people celebrating it alone or in little circles, away from our loved ones. 

So, to start with, I want to welcome each of our emotions and needs. Maybe you can ask; Is it OK to spend Christmas alone? And I say, yes whatever is the reason for doing that it is ok.

Maybe to protect the loved ones, maybe you never really enjoyed Christmas anyway or your loved ones are far away, and you will not be able to see them. It is ok and also it is ok whatever this situation is making you feel. 

Also talking about Christmas, there is another big spectrum of the meaning of being alone

This Christmas you could be all alone on Christmas eve. No family or friends. Christmas on your own. Could be your first Christmas, maybe first Christmas alone after divorce. 

Maybe you will be with your husband or your wife. Maybe you will be alone as a family with your kids. 

All these cases are considered to have an alone Christmas.

How do you spend Christmas alone?

I already started to dream about ideas to celebrate Christmas time with my gang. Asking my kids and my husband and explaining to my kids that we will not be able to see their cousins and grandparents this year, but still, we will celebrate, still, 3 Kings and Papa Noel will come to visit us. 

We are already starting to invite the celebration vibe to our home. Christmas is not just one day; it is a process. I do not know you, but I need a celebration. Celebrate it in whatever situation you are finding yourself in right now.  

As Kevin in the movie ‘home alone’ says, “This is my life and I will celebrate it”. Ok maybe I changed a bit, he was saying this is my home and I will defend it. But the mood and motivation are the same.

What to do on Christmas alone: Christmas day alone ideas

1. Self-reflect what does it mean to have Christmas alone for you beforehand. How do you feel about it? Show self-compassion. Be there for you. If you feel sad do not try to feel happy. If you feel frustrated do not try to feel ok. Honor your feeling and ask yourself how you can help and prioritize your needs.

2. Get some perspective, do not enter the games of your ego. You can play a game with your ego these days. As you want to celebrate and make it special for yourself this day, and still ego will do its own business, be prepared. The ego will criticize COVID, Christmas, celebrations, people, government whatever. Be cool about it. Slow down. Breathe. Be aware of your thoughts and gently say to your ego “hey man, what is that thing that you need? Let us make this celebration real, in our style. Let us relax”. 

3. Stop complaining start creating. Be gentle to yourself during this time. If you find yourself complaining, gently come to the present moment. Think about it as fasting of thoughts. Remember your goal, creating a special time for you without stress.

4. Plan for you. Make it planning for self-love. Take responsibility and tell yourself that you are preparing for a celebration. A hard year is finishing soon and a bright new one is just in front of the door. Christmas is the day of magic they say. So, let’s celebrate. Ask you this first and let the ideas come:

How would you create a celebration for yourself? 

  1. Some nice breakfast, lunch, and dinner? What are the menus? What do you need to shop beforehand?
  2. How you will prepare the table for the celebration? Which are your special plates, table cloths, cotton napkins? Will you need anything?
  3. Some special things to eat for this time of the year. What are they? Will you need to buy it?
  4. What will Santa Claus will bring to you or your small circle? Think about it. Put some care. What is that thing that you wanted to buy, and you did not? Now it is time. 
  5. What would be a nice movie to watch? Those that you wanted for a long time. Now is the time. Or a typical Christmas movie.
  6. What is that music to dance? You can create a playlist beforehand.
  7. What would be a nice book to read? 
  8. Maybe you can buy some bath bubbles and create a special spa for yourself. 
  9. Candles can shine the place all day. Do you need candles beforehand? 
  10. How you will decorate your home? A Christmas tree or a place similar to an altar
  11. What are those traditional rituals that you would like to do on your own? 
  12. Is there anybody you would like to see on this day? Who is he/she? Do you mind asking if he/she is available to drink something?
  13. Would you like to work out/run/yoga? Some movement would be fine.
  14. When do you think about celebration, what is that thing coming to your mind? A special drink, a present, special food. Make that symbolic thing prepared for you. 
  15. Connect to your family online? Try to concrete the time beforehand.

All these questions and their answers would help you to plan the day. But really, what is Christmas? Why this period is special?

It is a closing of a circle and an opening of a new one; starting with the winter solstice, then Christmas, New Year, and 3 Kings.

Great time of the year to become present and rituals are the best for becoming present.

So here is my list of rituals for this time of the year:

1. Create your sacred space for this special time of the year. Clean your space from negative energies. Maybe creating an art corner even for these days. Decorate as you wish.

2. Connect with nature and with yourself. Go to walk in nature. Wake up to see the sunrise. 

3. Self-Reflect. You can self-reflect on this year. You can use the guidance that I wrote before, here, and here. Some questions to self-reflect alone or with your little family:

  • What are those things that you will remember from this year?
  • How did you improve yourself this year?
  • What are those things that you would celebrate this year?
  • Did you feel supported this year? By whom? 
  • Would you like to be more supported? By whom and about what?
  • What were those moments when you felt bliss this year?
  • Were you behaving well to yourself? Do you need to forgive yourself? From a scale of 0 to 100, how much?
  • What were the hard moments of this year and those that you overcome and you feel good about yourself?
  • To whom would you like to say thanks this year?

4. Show your gratitude. You can write about your gratitude. What you are grateful for, this year? Who are those names on your list? Let them know via email, call, WhatsApp, or even a letter. If you are with your family or a couple, you can do this together

5. Look at how you want to plan things for 2021. 2021 is remarkably close. If you are alone at home, dreaming about next year could be a really good idea. 

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6. Practice the rituals similar way as your ancestors (your parents, grandparents): These kinds of special days that have been celebrated by many people through history have important energies. During these days create a connection with the One is easier. You can do those rituals from your childhood. Going to visit a sacred temple for your family, preparing food for Santa Claus, practicing that special prayer of the grandmother, while remembering her, or writing a letter with your wishes to 3 Kings.

7. Pray with all your heart. This year showed us how vulnerable we are. How united we are. After self-reflection, a gratitude circle, and planning your next year, praying can be the best activity for this night. Pray in your way. Tell your deep desires, fears, needs. Take your time. Do not forget that today is magical. Let the universe know about your desires and needs on this magical day.

8. Celebrate: Celebrate life. Celebrate that you are alive and free. Do that symbolic thing for you, drink that champagne, eat that chocolate cake, dinner whatever celebration symbol for you, listen to good music. Dance. Feel the celebration. 

Christmas Alone Tips

  • Be careful with social media. Especially if you realize that your ego is in a complaining mood, maybe you can avoid social media, as most probably your ego will begin to compare yourself and try to make your mind that you are miserable. Do not give your ego this chance. Be aware. 
  • Remember, everything will be closed that day. Make your shopping list before and buy everything beforehand.
  • Be aware of your intention for this day. Make it your day. There is no right or wrong answer. Make your celebration. 
  • Be present and see the magic in those little details

Alone on Christmas day song and lyrics

As Christmas is close, and as it means the celebration, let’s finalize the blog post with a song. The lyrics below:

When you find for some sad reason

You’re alone this Christmas season

And the joys of home grow dimmer

Just like a memory’s distant glimmer

When your love and you are parted

And all Christmas cheer departed

It’s sad I say, when you’re away,

From love on Christmas Day

Why the sadness (gotta move on)

When there should be gladness (keep moving on)

All you can do is keep moving on

Time is mending (you gotta move on)

Pain soon has its ending (keep moving on)

Know in your heart it soon will be gone

Whether cruising the lonely highway

Or jetting miles high through some skyway

When you’ve reached your destination

Awaiting baggage at the station

When you see some happy greeters

It can make your bitter sweeter

But still, for real, it’s sad to feel

Alone on Christmas Day

Why the sadness (gotta move on)

When there should be gladness (keep moving on)

All you can do is keep moving on

Time is mending (you’ve got to move on)

Pain soon has its ending (keep moving on)

Know in your heart it soon will be gone

What about you? 

What are your plans for this Christmas? Let me know in the comments.

Below is a Pinterest friendly photo…. so you can pin it to your Rituals Board!

 

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